Living Alone in Old Age

The Problem of Living Alone In Old Age: A vignette

Katherine is in her mid 80’s and lives alone just of a bus main road.  Two years age local children mounted a series of attacks on her house: stink bombs through her letterbox and so on. “I got to the point where I didn’t bother answering the door.  They were forever taunting me.  I felt under siege.  When you are on your own, all you can do is lock up and go to bed.”  When she found two boys smashing her gas meter, they ran off laughing.  Cars were driving past but no one stopped.  A constable came and promised to keep an eye on the children.  There was an article about it in the local newspaper. Katherine read it and felt even more humiliated.

That was two years ago.  A week ago, Katherine was wakened by a loud noise of something landing on her roof.  It was a brick and her heart sank.  Could it be starting all over again? “ I know that it’s just vandalism. They think, “She’s a silly old fool. She won’t be able to run after us.”   She thought to herself perhaps I should phone the police again.  But where does it all end?  I’ve been here a long time. I don’t want to move.”

What do you think??

The Friendship of Canada and the USA

 The Friendship of Canada and the USA

While you may in winter be cold
This country is of me
It's a place where all take hold
Sweet land of liberty

So with the days of snow
And with the sun days of bright
Peace is the way we try to go.
If justice is abandoned we will fight

We are friends of out neighbour USA
All of us live in North America
Quite a few families live each way
And we will always be together.

Manifestatons of Ageism

Manifestations of Ageism[1]

Ageism can be manifested in many different forms.  At a systematic level, laws and policies may be made without regard to the needs of older adults, or service cuts may have a disproportionate impact on older adults.  Ageism may take the form of “granny bashing” in the popular press (blaming many of society’s current economic worries on older adults).  It can be reflected in media where older adults are portrayed as uniformly poor (and consequently perceived potential drain on society) or as a uniformly well of group who are unconcerned about the need of others.

Ageism may be more commonplace in economic and political literature where demographic shifts in the population are characterized as portending a future health crisis or “age wars” with you and old fighting over their share oaf social and health services.  Ageism and age discrimination are abased on social fears, and social response expresses those fears.

It has been suggested that there can be both internalized and externalized ageism.  Internalized ageism refers to the extent to which older adults take on the social norms that devalue or marginalize older persons.  They may do this at the individual level by acting in ways that reinforces the youth norm – battling the obvious and visible markers of aging such as grey hair or wrinkles. Internalized ageism may also be manifested by denial of any commonality with others in a cohort, such as the familiar objection of an eighty-five year old woman or man who vehemently does not want to be associated with “all those older people”.

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[1]   This Post digs deeper into the process of Ageism

About Happiness Beyond Work

Happiness: The measure of Life Beyond Work[1]

Happiness: Enjoy it while you have it… for it is sure to slip away.  This is my own opinion, and it is also supported by a great deal of research;  Happiness is an exlperience, not an asset tht you can lock up in a safe.  Happiness comes, and we enjoy it; it goes, and we can remember it.  It is fortunate that happiness comes , and we enjoy it; it goes, and we can remember it.  It is fortunate that happiness does come and go.  For one thing, constant  happiness ruins a good thing.  You may have heard the tale that new workers in a candy factory are urged to eat as much as they want because the managers have learned that people quickly tire of too much candy……

Who enjoys a bottle of wine more?  The person who lives wine and haves a great wine every evening or the person who loves wine and has it once or twice a week?  Over time the, the every-evening great wine becomes expected and routine.  While still delicious, it is no longer special.  The every-so-often great wine remains a treat to be savored and brings a smile.  Eventually the every-night great wine loses it’s impact.

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[1]  The above material was found in the Book Beyond Work produced by Bill Roiter

ISBN 978-0-470-84094-8

Children's Perceptions of Ageing

Children’s Perceptions of Ageing[1]

“From an early age, children are on the way to developing diverse and complex social perceptions of age.  As our review indicates, children’s age attitudes entail differential feelings, beliefs, and behavioral expectations about older adults and their stereotypes differ along several dimensions.  Children typically perceive typically perceive older adults negatively along dimensions that reflect their activity and potency, and sometimes their affect, whereas they more often perceive older adults positively along evaluative dimensions that reflect their social goodness.   Contrary to the common expectation that attitudes differ cross-culturally, research suggests that children’s negative attitudes toward older adults are universal. However children’s attitudes do vary with their age and social class and with older adult’s gender.  The question remains as to what mechanisms account for children’s attitudes.

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[1]  Material of this post was gathered from the book; Ageism: Stereotyping and prejudice against older persons. Page 93.  ISBN 0-262-14077-2  I was edited by Todd D. Nelson  It's and excellent book.

A scenario of Ageism

Produced: The only sound[1] A Scenario

It is half past eleven in an old people’s home.  The morning drinks have been taken and the cups collected.  In a small lounge with fire doors at each end, ten old ladies are sitting quietly along two walls.  Some are staring ahead of them and some appear to be dozing.  Through one of the fire doors comes a member of the staff caring a small suitcase.  Behind her is a thin old man holding his hat in front of him with both hands.  In the room she turns, asks him to sit in the vacant chair, places a suitcase in front of him and then goes out the other door.  The old man is dressed in a dark suit with a white shirt, dark tie, and polished black shoes.  The suit is cut in very old style and has been carefully pressed which makes him look as so he is on his way to a Sunday service or a funeral.  He holds the hat very tightly in his lap and his hands are shaking.  Some of the old ladies glance at him then look away.  After several minutes of silence another staff member comes in carrying a piece of paper and a pen, reads an address to him, and asks if that is the correct address of his next of kin.  He clears his throat and says it is. After she is gone he sits forward stiffly in the chair, gazing at the floor in front of his suitcase.  Ten minutes elapse.  The first member of the staff returns with a cup of tea and asks him if he would like sugar.  He shakes his head.  She hands him the cup of tea and then departs again.  And as he sits holding his hat, and the cup, the shaking of his hand makes the cup rattle loudly.  It is the only sound.  He sips quickly at the ten.  Before, he can finish; the staff member returns again, says that his room is ready, picks up his suitcase and goes through the door holding it open for him.  He rises quickly to his feet, holding his hat and half finished cup of tea and looks around.  There are no tables in the room and he balances the cup on the window ledge behind the seat, before hurrying out of the room.  The old ladies who have looked up at his departure return their gaze to the wall and floor.  Now can you see the imbalance of power in the relationship between provider and recipient in an institutional setting and to the experience of being admitted as a recipient of service?

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[1]  19 years ago Bill Bytheway produced the book Ageism: Rethinking Ageism. The above story is in the book ISBN 0-335-19175-4.  It is inside chapter 6.  I am interested in reading what you think.

Creativity and Dementia

Creativity and Dementia

            Meditation practices have various health benefits including the possibility of preserving cognition and preventing dementia. While the mechanisms remain investigational, studies show that meditation may affect multiple pathways that could play a role in brain aging and mental fitness. For example, meditation may reduce stress-induced cortisol secretion and this could have neuroprotective effects potentially via elevating levels of brain derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF). Meditation may also potentially have beneficial effects on lipid profiles and lower oxidative stress, both of which could in turn reduce the risk for cerebrovascular disease and age-related neurodegeneration. Further, meditation may potentially strengthen neuronal circuits and enhance cognitive reserve capacity. These are the theoretical bases for how meditation might enhance longevity and optimal health. Evidence to support a neuroprotective effect comes from cognitive, electroencephalogram (EEG), and structural neuroimaging studies. In one cross-sectional study, meditation practitioners were found to have a lower age-related decline in thickness of specific cortical regions. However, the enthusiasm must be balanced by the inconsistency and preliminary nature of existing studies as well as the fact that meditation comprises a heterogeneous group of practices. Key future challenges include the isolation of a potential common element in the different meditation modalities, replication of existing findings in larger randomized trials, determining the correct “dose,” studying whether findings from expert practitioners are generalizable to a wider population, and better control of the confounding genetic, dietary and lifestyle influences. and the patients’ propensity to act themselves. Nonverbal therapy methods, such as painting, music, etc., are able to infl uence the well-being of the patients positively, within the modern healthcare system in nursing homes. The elderly and some of the dementia patients take the initiative to combine creativity and arts and to define his/her feeling for aesthetical matters. Furthermore, group therapy sessions help against isolation and lack of life perspective and hope

 Beat Ted Hannemann

Art & Age Consulting, Basel, Switzerland      Creativity with Dementia Patients

Can Creativity and Art Stimulate Dementia Patients Positively?

Gerontology 2006;52:59–65  DOI: 10.1159/000089827

 

Meditation and My Walk

Practicing Meditation

Meditation while Walking

         Almost every morning when I go for my walk I also meditate. Combining walk with mediation is an efficient way to relax.  You can use this technique anywhere you’re walking – in a tranquil forest or a city sidewalk or at the mall.  When you use this method, slow down the pace of walking so you can focus on each movement of your legs and feet.  Don’t focus on your particular destination.  Concentrate on your legs and feet, repeating action words in your mind such as lifting, moving and placing as you lift each foot, move your leg forward and place your foot on the ground.  As you walk, stay in the here (right here where ever you are) and right now (right now this very minute.)

        A few days ago, I had an accident on with my bicycle. It hurt the muscles of my right leg.  Now during my morning walk I concentrate on the places in my leg where the muscle hurts. And I believe that this is helping them heal.  Each day since the accident, the pain is slowly decreasing.  I have also cut the distance of my walks but soon I expect to return to my habitual path.  

Ageism: Rethinking Ageing

Version:1.0 Star

Rethinking Ageing[1]

“It seems indisputable to me that rethinking of ageism can not be based on the assumption that old age exists.  And it follows directly from this, that we must critically examine the logic of creating a category of people and calling it the elderly, the old or the aged.”

“In Butler’s definition the critical sentence is:

Ageism can be seen as a process of systematic stereotyping of and discrimination against people because they  are old, just as racism and sexism accomplished this because of skin colour and gender.”

“The main reference to age in Butler’s definition is the word ‘old’. His conceptulation of ageism is related to a discernible group of people who can be referred to a old. He, like many others uses a number of words to refer to this group – older, elderly, aged –but not in the way which challenges the presumption of it’s existences.”

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[1]  Material of this post is gathered from the book Ageism: Rethinking Ageing  Organized and presented by Bill Pathway ISBN  0-335-19176-4    (pub). For those of you who are interested in the study of Ageism this book is a must have!

Life Review Questions

Life Review Questions [1]

1.   What have you learned about your life of life in general? From what you have learned, what do you think will be helpful to others?

2.   How would you respond to the question, what is the meaning of life (or what is the meaning of your life?)  Have your thoughts about the meaning of life changed since you retired?

3.   Looking back on your life now, do you wish you had dune anything differently? If so, what?  What are you the happiest about having done, or most proud of?

4.   From your perspective now, what do you think matters most (or should matter most) in life.  (Or matters most to you?)  What if anything, once seemed important to you but know longer seems so important?

5.   Are you more spiritual since you retired?

6.   What would you say are the best things in life?

7.   What do you believe are the most important aspects of your relationships with other people? (Especially those you feel closest to)?

8.   To what extent do you care about what other people think   about you?

9.   How would you like to be remembered after you die?

10.  If you could live for many more years, what would you most like to do with all of that time?

  11.   What is your view of humankind these days?

  12.   What have been the most satisfying or fulfilling experiences in your life?

  

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[1] Questions Adapted from Kinnier, R. T. et al. In the final analysis: More wisdom from people who have faced death, Journal of Counseling & Development,79 Spring 2001 Volume 79,171-177.

Satisfaction with LIfe After Retirement

Satisfaction With Life: 

Following are five statements related to your feelings of satisfaction since you retired.  In a way, it is asking the question; who am I and have I changed my feelings since I retired?

1.   To what extent are you satisfied with your life since you retired? (Satisfaction)

2.   To what extent are you satisfied with your decision to retire? (Decision)

3.   To what extent do you feel at ease in your new role as a retiree? (Role)

4.   To what extent are you confident that you will achieve the objectives that you had set upon retirement? (Objectives)

5.   If you have a spouse, to what extent does having a spouse facilitated your adaptation to retirement? (Spouse)

Manifestation of ageism

Manifestation of Ageism

Ageism can be manifested in many different forms.  As systemic level, laws and policies ma be made without regard to the needs of older adults, or service cuts may have a disproportionate impact on older adults.  Ageism may take the form of “granny bashing” in the popular press (blaming many of society’s current economic worries  on older adults) it can be reflected in media where older adults are portrayed as uniformly well of group who are unconcerned about the needs of others.

Ageism may be more commonplace in economic and political literature where demographic shifts in the population are characterized as portending a future health crisis or ‘age wars’ with young and old fighting over their share of social and health services. Ageism and age discrimination are based on social fears, and social response expresses those fears.

It has been suggested that there can be both internalized and externalized ageism, Internalized ageism refers to the extent to which older adults take on social norms that devalue and marginalize older persons.  They may do this at an individual level by acting in ways that reinforces the youth norm – battling the obvious and visible markers of aging such as grey hair or wrinkles.  Internalized ageism may also be manifested by denial of any commonality with other in a cohort, such as familiar objection of an eight-year old woman or man who vehemently does not want to be associated with “all those old people”

A Retirement Readiness Questionaire

A Retirement Readiness Questionnaire [1]

1.   Why are you thinking about retirement now? (You get one point if you think that someone who knows you well considers your answer good and clear.

2.   Do you want to retire? (One point if yes)

3.   Have you attended a retirement preparation program or seminar focused on financial planning?

4.   Have you attended a retirement preparation program or seminar focused on social planning/ (community activities and interpersonal endeavors?)

5.   How would your finances be if you retired now? (One point if yes)

6.   Have you developed any outside interests? Hobbies, volunteer activities or areas of new learning. (One point if yes)

7.   Have you planned new activities where you would interact with people on a regular basis offering opportunities for new friendships? (One point if yes)

8.   What do your family and friends say about your retiring? (One point if they think you are doing the right thing)

9.     Have you considered whether you want a complete or partial retirement?  In other words, have you considered  part time or temporary work, or even a less that full-time small business venture? Emphases here are on consideration. (One point if Yes, even if you choose not to go this route.)

10.                During retirement will the process of making at least a modest contribution helping out in various volunteer or other activities be sufficient for you or do you feel the need to make an immediate major difference in what you do?  (One point if yes to the first part of the question or to the second part if you feel you have lined up an activity where you can an immediate major contribution.)

11.                What is important and fulfilling for you?  How do your retirement plans relate to your thinking here? (One point if someone who is reliable and knows you, feels you give a straight answer and considers your answer Good and Clear)

12.                      What is it that gives you a sense of meaning and purpose in life?  How do your retirement plans relate to your thinking here? (One point if someone who is reliable and knows you, feels you give a straight answer and considers your answer good and clear.)

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[1]  It’s a good idea to answer these questions and then discuss them with someone.  This comes from a workshop I developed several years ago. Take some time to think about the questions and what about your thoughts on retirement. The less number of thoughts, the less you may be prepared,

Phase Three on the Journey of Retirement

Phase Three

On the Journey of Retirement

         “Stress” time is characteristic of the Third Phase.  This occurs upon actual retirement.  This is the time when everyone dealing with retiree needs to be aware of and compensate for pressures and stresses the newly “freed” individual is subjected to.

In my particular case the stress came from the battle against mandatory retirement. For me, this journey of retirement is a battle to understand and accept the Idea, “I am who I am.” 

         Most of my life I have been a university psychology professor which is one of the main factors explaining why I have created this blog.  And, I can tell you that as we age there are other factors that trigger stress.  And I say, “Thank god for mediation.

Phase Two on the Journey to Retirement

Phase Two on the Journey of Retirement

The second phase begins about one and a half years before retirement. This period it the ‘Excitement Time’.  As the actual date  of retirement is now on sight, serious struggles in obtaining necessary  details about retirement benefits, income, health coverage etc.  Problems are often encountered that could have been solved if dealt with sooner, but, because of proximity of retirement must be dealt with as they are.

Phase One of the Journey of Retirement

Making the Most of Life During the  Eight Phases of Retirement[1]

Phase one begins about three to five years before retirement.  This phase is referred to as “Fantasy Time” as it consists primarily of dreaming and planning for retirement and the new options that will be available after retirement begins.

Now let the journey begin.  As a university professor, as far as work time is considered, I did not work five days a week for eight hours a day.  I loved, and continue to love, searching for information and providing it to others.   Because I was nearing 65 years old and mandatory retirement was still in place. I spent a couple of years fighting it and was able to continue teaching and research.  I can imagine, however, that many people who work full time at normal wages may think of with dreams of freedom and travel.  I see that people from all over the world visit this blog and I am interested in what both those still working and those retired think.

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[1]  This presentation was developed a number of years ago as part of my retirement workshop.  Over the next few weeks I will discuss  one of the eight phases about my self since I have retired. It would be really nice if we could have a discussion.

My Happiness in Retirement

My Happiness in Retirement

 I enjoy my freedom from the clock

And now take some time to grocery shop

Sometimes I don’t know what to do.

 Some day I want to visit a zoo.

After many years of modest wealth

All my muscles are in fine health

In a friendly neighborhood,

I have a hobby of carving wood

 

Helping Retirement

Helping Retirement[1]

Here is a scenario of a by a man who looked forward to retirement.

I thought it would be fun because I wouldn’t have the hammer hitting the time clock and thinking about what if something happens and you’ll get blamed for it.  Over the years I have worked on the evening shift and that made quite a difference in our family.  I thought it would be nice to be home in the evening.  When I did retire, I had been warned. “ Don’t hit the rocking chair.”  Well you can’t work all you life. I started work early. I thought e could do what we wanted.  Unfortunately things don’t always work out the way you want them to.

Dad had a stroke, so we didn’t do too much.  My friends also started demanding that I cart them around.  They knew that I was available.

We talked about me working two or three days a week. We could use the extra money.  We couldn’t afford a lot of entertainment.  We became very unhappy with our life style. We didn’t have the money to do what we wanted to do.  So, I was more or less disillusioned about that, not heart broken, it just put a damper on things. So I started working again. And Mrs. preferred. She could get her housework done more easily when I wasn’t around the house all the time.”

As I finished this post I heard my wife upstairs vacuuming.   I think I’ll go up and see it there is any way I can help her.  What do you think about the situation described above?

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[1]  The Above Scenario was taken from my Retirement Counseling; A Handbook for Gerontology Practitioners Constructed by Virginia  Richardson  ISBN 0-8261-7020-X

The Effect of Culture on Aging

The Effect of Culture on Aging and the Rising of

Ageism [1]

First “It is a combination of population, social and cultural change that provide the main framework by which we approach and understand aging.”

It is then predicted that ‘’… it seems probable that ageing will be expressed in increasingly unstable and contested practices and contradictory texts for well into the 21^st century.”  Next they state that: “by culture we are referring to various and complex systems of meaning that constitute everyday life”

“Old age lies sullen and unchanging – represented as the end of social life: a point in life after which future choices are irrelevant.”

Now :

     “ Several writers have argued that widespread negative attitudes toward old age evident in contemporary society lead to the internalization of these values by older people, reducing  expectations, leading to poorer physical and mental performance, which are then treated as ‘objective’ evidence of age related decline.
This can lead to internalized ageism.  This makes me wonder if this is also a process in Sexism and Racism

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[1]  The source of this material is the book Cultures and Aging constructed by Christopher Gilleard and Paul Hoggs, ISBN 0 -582-35641-5 Published in Great Britain in 2000

Reviewing my life

Reviewing My Life

My greatest satisfaction in helping others cope

Helps me explore the meaning of my life.

This will continue for a long time, I hope

With help from my wonderful loving wife.

I’ve spent  years on a faculty helping others

A few have stayed in touch with me

And, of course there are my younger brothers

Who help me remember that Me is We.

While I have not been spiritual through the years

I have developed a strong use of meditation

I travel through life with very few fears;

Although I don’t believe in reincarnation.

In the mornings when I read the Newspaper things

And turn on the TV to hear what’s going on

I worry about the behavior of us human beings

Because who wants to live forever is my song

.

Volunteering Among Seniors

Volunteering Among Seniors[1]

•     Volunteers provide important services to Canadians. They organize activities, serve as members of committees and boards, coach others, distribute food and other goods, and provide care and support.

•     Volunteers provide communities with arts and cultural events, educate the public about protecting our natural environment, promote literacy and learning, and advocate on behalf of the marginalized.

•     Volunteers also play an essential role in promoting active citizenship and building bridges between communities and cultures.

Some Questions:

   There are some indications that seniors may not be able to continue volunteering in the same way or at the same rate as they have in the past.  What is needed to support seniors to continue to volunteer?   Given aging and changing health status, how do we continue to engage seniors as volunteers?

1. What potential is there to leverage the voluntary capacity of seniors to help other seniors in need of assistance and support?

2. How can we engage baby boomers and other age groups, to take on volunteer roles previously held by seniors?

3. What can be done to further entrench volunteering as a key element of civic participation among seniors and future generations of seniors?

4. How can we better understand, promote and enable volunteerism among individual Canadians and through not-for-profit community-based organizations?

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[1]  This information comes from a workshop I created five years ago.  I do my volunteering with Canadian Cancer Society

My Path To Self

My Path To Self

To live in the here and now is what I’ve learned;

It’s helped me understand what’s happening.

Many aspects of meditation is what I’ve learned

As my thoughts continue deepening.

My thinking is less based on how I feel.

It’s much more about what I know.

I’m less likely to act like a heel.

Helping others is the way to go!

Increasing My Luck in Life

Increasing My Luck In Life

I keep my eye out for opportunity

And prepare to capitalize on it.

Most likely within my community

Knowing the lottery is full of shit.

I’m taking greater effort to know myself

And increase my level of confidence

As well, I don’t leave my effort on a shelf.

Stay and use your brain; makes sense.

The more I prepare for things,

The more opportunity I see.

And when I get luck my heart sings

And I know more about the show of Glee

So I continue to do what I know

Is an opportunity to increase my chance

And my heartbeat sings way to go

As I feel the urge to get up and dance.

A Tool For Combating Ageism

A Tool used to Combat Ageism: Case Processing[1]

1.     Because of my age I have been called insulting namestools

                  Quite Frequently____    ____   ____   ____  ____Never

    

    2.   I have been treated with apparent kindness that betrays a                       feeling of superiority.

                   Quite Frequently____   ____  ____  ____  ____Never

     3.   I have been told ageist Jokes.

                   Quite Frequently____  ____  ____  ____  ____Never

4.    I have been sent ageist birthday cards.

             Quite Frequently ____  ____ ____  ____  ____Never

5.    I have been refused housing.

                   Quite Frequently ____  ____  ____  ____  ____Never

   

6.    I have been denied leadership

             Quite Frequently____  ____  ____  ____ _­­____ Never

7.    I have been denied employment

             Quite Frequenltly____  ____ ____ ____  _____Never

8.  It has been assumed that I couldn’t understand

              Quite Frequently___ ___   ____  ____  _____Never

8.    I have been told,“You’re too old.

              Quite Frequently ___ ____ ____ _____ _____Never

9.    My house has been vandalized.

                     Quite Frequently ____ ____ ____ ____ ____Never

10.              I have been victimized by a criminal

               Quite Frequently ____ ____ ____ ____ ____Never

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[1] Many years ago I began my journey in combating Ageism.  Above was one of my tools.  If you are interested in exploring ageism and it’s consequences, these should be helpful. 

Making and Breaking Habits Wow

 My Response to the book

Making Habits, Breaking Habits[1]

         The day before yesterday, on the Internet, I read chapter one of the books.  After finishing I rushed down to Chapters Book Store and purchased the book and rushed home and began to read. 

         For about 30 years I was a Psych Professor.  I am now retired and will be 75 years old in October.   His book is one of the most interesting one I have ever read.  Every question I have about my self has been discussed in the book.

         Earlier, just after I got my PhD, worked as a clinical psychologist but I wasn’t good enough and went back to teaching, I think that if I had read this book before while still counseling I might have stayed in that role. As a teacher I would have a class of students exploring the important message about habits.

         I am now beginning to read chapter 9 Breaking Habits.  Having been meditating for a long time I am now exploring myself and I can hardly wait till I get to chapter 12 – Creative Habits.

         I also encourage those of you read this post, to get to the bookstore, or order one online, and you will change you life for the better.        Thank you Jeremy!!!!!!! 

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[1]   Author is Jeremy Dean  10987654321