Ageism and Intergenerational Relations:
A Scenario
This
story I found amazing. Sharon
Whistler, a woman of formidable reputation, who is known for her forthright
comments at City Council meetings, has been unable to object when her son calls
older people ‘coffin dodgers’.
Until this week, that is.
Perhaps because of the diary she was keeping for the RoAD project, she
chose to finally confront him.
‘
I was in back of the car with Kevin, my grandson, and Alan (her son) was driving, and he made
reference to the driver in front who he thought was taking his time, saying to
his son “Hey Archie, there’s another coffin dodger”, meaning an elderly
driver. And Archie goes titter,
because he thinks his dad is quite good’
Alan does this a lot,
she says and before today Sharon has been loath to object because she feels he
does it by way of affectionate teasing.
“This
is the same son that when I show signs of forgetfulness he as “ The shotguns
ready mother. Watch it.” He speaks
in a grunt way anyway. That’s the
only way of expressing his feelings’
I
decided not to press the point. Sharon and Alan have developed a certain style
of relating to one another, a kind of code for expressions of affection. Instead, I said: ‘ A poor joke.’ He makes a bit of a joke… He makes a
poor joke out of things” she replied. But on this
day, the first day of her diary, Sharon decided to say something. She couldn’t
object directly to his jokes about her, but did seriously say: I seriously
disapprove of you passing on to your son at five, such unpleasant expressions.
I object to one generation passing on that sort of expression to the next. I take exceptions to that two that’ to which he replied:
“Shut up you silly old bat”.
Now I would have hit the ceiling if
that happened to me. But she didn’t
“ It’s his way of speaking.
On the whole I tend to ignore it. Or perhaps I am a coward. I would never dream of saying “Do you
mind not calling me a silly old bat?”
I find it offensive.” Because, I don’t actually. Anyway, I like bats, they are very
jolly animals’. Then she added “ But it is age
discrimination.”
What
do you think?
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