Ageism and Intergenerational Relations

                     Ageism and Intergenerational Relations:

A Scenario

This story I found amazing.  Sharon Whistler, a woman of formidable reputation, who is known for her forthright comments at City Council meetings, has been unable to object when her son calls older people ‘coffin dodgers’.  Until this week, that is.  Perhaps because of the diary she was keeping for the RoAD project, she chose to finally confront him.

         ‘ I was in back of the car with Kevin, my grandson, and Alan  (her son) was driving, and he made reference to the driver in front who he thought was taking his time, saying to his son “Hey Archie, there’s another coffin dodger”, meaning an elderly driver.  And Archie goes titter, because he thinks his dad is quite good’

     Alan does this a lot, she says and before today Sharon has been loath to object because she feels he does it by way of affectionate teasing.

         “This is the same son that when I show signs of forgetfulness he as “ The shotguns ready mother. Watch it.”  He speaks in a grunt way anyway.  That’s the only way of expressing his feelings’

        

         I decided not to press the point. Sharon and Alan have developed a certain style of relating to one another, a kind of code for expressions of affection.  Instead, I said:  ‘ A poor joke.’  He makes a bit of a joke… He makes a poor joke out of things” she replied.  But on this day, the first day of her diary, Sharon decided to say something. She couldn’t object directly to his jokes about her, but did seriously say: I seriously disapprove of you passing on to your son at five, such unpleasant expressions. I object to one generation passing on that sort of expression to the next.  I take exceptions to that two that’  to which he replied:  “Shut up you silly old bat”.   Now I would have hit the ceiling if that happened to me. But she didn’t  “ It’s his way of speaking.  On the whole I tend to ignore it. Or perhaps I am a coward.  I would never dream of saying “Do you mind not calling me a silly old bat?”  I find it offensive.”    Because, I don’t actually.  Anyway, I like bats, they are very jolly animals’.   Then she added “ But it is age discrimination.”

What do you think?

Ageist Harassment

A Vignette About Ageist Harassment[1]

         At ten to one on Thursday morning, Pearl was awakened by a loud noise of something hitting her roof.  She got out of bed, looked out the window and saw to young men walking away.  She figured  they were students ‘tanked up’, on their way home to nearby university residences.

         But the next day she saw a brick on her roof beside some  broken tiles and she thought, ‘ Oh no!’  For the miserable experience  of being targeted by local children might be happening again. “I felt sick when I saw that brick. I’ve considered moving into seniors’ residences.”

         Two years previously, a group of 10-12 year olds mounted a series of dreadful attacks, led by a particularly nasty boy from a neighboring house.  They put stink bombs though her letterbox, through eggs at her door, repeatedly rang her doorbell and ran away.

         “Id injured my knee gong up and down the stairs was hard, so I got to a point where I didn’t bother answering the door.  They were forever taunting me.  I looked through the door window and there was such nastiness about it.  It was threatening, it was awful. I felt under siege.  When you’re on your own and you’ve got to lock up and go to bed, think somebody’s trying to get into your place—it was horrible.

         Once when they smashed hydrometer with led piping she ran after them, but they defied her.

Ø    ‘Why did you do that?’

Ø    “Do what?’

Ø    ‘You broke my glass!’

Ø    “It wasn’t us

         Pearl’s daughter Lena, who lived nearby, contacted the local police, and the instigator, already in trouble with other offenses, was moved elsewhere. Pearl wonders if the attacks happened partly because of her age.

         ‘Some of it’s just vandalism. But these kids also thought. “ She’s a silly old fool, She won’t run after us.”

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[1]  Over thirty years ago along with Lawrence Prasad I began my Journey of investigation of Ageism.  This current post was part of:  A Pilot Study on Ageism: The Unchallenged Prejudice.  It seems like a long time ago.

Beyond Ageist Stereotypes [1]

A Ten-point plan for a

Ageism Reduction

1.          Heightening sensitivity to the stereotyping of older people.

2.          Creating greater exposure to diversity in personal characteristics of older people.

3.          Having greater commitment to recognizing and responding to diversity in dealing with older people

4.          Making deliberate use of perspective taken to see the older person as an individual.

5.          Seeking out opportunities for intergenerational cooperation.

6.          Taking advantage of opportunities to promote the social attractiveness of older people.

7.          Strengthening institutional practices that promote the norm human-heartedness.

8.          Desensitizing ourselves to the stigma of degeneration and dependency.

9.          Reviewing policies and practices for evidence of stigmatizing through disrespect, particularly the disrespect communicated through treating older people as an invisible group.

10.      Mandating inclusiveness of older people in policy planning and implementation.

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[1]  Material found in a book Edited by Todd Nelson (2002) Ageism:: Stereotypes and Prejudice  Against Older Persons.  ISBN  0-262-14077-2  pp331-332. The author of this chapter is Valerie Braithwaite.

A scenario about Retirement

A Scenario[1]

Alex says he is surprised how many retired people he knows who are willing and interested in talking about their retirement.  “They appear happy” he says, “but when I ask them.  It seems that all they do is drive around in Winnebago’s and play golf with the same people.  He feels that’s appalling for people to spend retirement like that and has made up his mind that he won’t be “spellbound” like that.  He is more frightened of retirement than death and can’t imagine giving up work. He sees retirement as doing nothing. “I don’t see it as a happy time at all.”   

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[1]  A scenario from my retirement workshop

Overcoming Stress After Retirement

Overcoming Stress After Retirement

Before retirement, teaching was half my life

Fighting Mandatory Retirement was important.

We needed to retire in our own good time.

When the battle ended, I was a lot more relaxed

Taking time to create poetry helps me bypass stress.

Which must be left behind because it is so destructive.

 My wife who understands me helps me to relax

When I look at her; soft love flows within my heart.

Now I have begun to meditate more frequently

Which helps prevent stress when it approaches

This is very good for my aging brain.

As it travels through my body.

Volunteering In Retirement

Volunteering In Retirement[1]

      While after they turn 65,some people continue to work, with fewer hours, others begin or continue volunteering. “Over a quarter of adults above the age of 55 years in the United States, the majority of them being retired, contribute their time to various community services.”

       “Volunteering in retirement is a two-way street.  Research has shown that older adults who do volunteer work receive increases in all sorts of well being: happiness, life satisfaction, physical health, and longevity.  In fact it has been found that “… The benefits that older adults receive from volunteering is greater than the benefits received by people of other ages, and some speculate it’s because it helps compensate for loss of other roles in their lives”

       I am now 74 years old and for a number of years I have been and Official Volunteer for the Canadian Cancer Society.  I have been helping others since I was a youth. I am the oldest child in the family. Helping others began at an early age and I believe that helping others including my years teaching as a university professor.

         I think I need to more volunteering around our yard.  As summer approaches there are quite a few things that need to be done.

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[1]  Some of this material is gathered from “The Journey of Adulthood” Chapter 7 pages 234-235.

My Life After Retirement

                                                       My Life After Retirement

Looking though the window as it rains outside

I am waiting rather impatiently for summer.

In the spring, frequently traveling behind clouds,

The bright sun peaks out and smiles at me.

As an athlete I learned to exercise for health.

On my morning journey I used to jog. Now I walk.

The rain does not prevent my walks each day,

 As I remember my favourite phrase ‘It is what it is,

Meditation has helped me to calm my journey

As I travel along with a very wonderful wife

Also I join my sons for downtown walks

And spend time creating poetry.

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