Thursday, December 9, 2010
A feeling of Emptiness
This past week was significant for me in several ways. I taught my last aging class, which I designed and began teaching about 15 years ago, before I was forced to resist mandatory retirement. And, I had a very good conversation with Chris, one of my fellow instructors who has just finished teaching his last class. He is now retired. After we finished talking, I gave him a hug. It felt like the right thing to do.
When I got home I noticed that inside I felt and continue to feel partly empty, about 25%. It’s not a big space but it’s there. I cannot remember ever feeling this way before. It’s not bad or good it’s just empty. I wonder what I will feel next year when I am completely retired like Chris?
It’s not that I haven’t been preparing post retirement activities for example creating this retirement blog and some workshops including my retirement workshop. And I believe that in time I may be almost as busy, with my volunteering and workshop activity as I am now.
Thinking more about it, I imagine that my feeling of emptiness is a small fraction of what others feel when they have had greater losses.